Raising Seth
by Jhrbrown
Summary: After an accident leaves Bella responsible for her brother,Seth-an amazing kid with the odds stacked against him-she attempts to find a new normal for them.A fic about learning to love despite the obstacles along the way.Rated M for future lemons,ExB,OOC
1. Butt Swatter

**Okay, so I tossed this fic around a bit before even I even considered writing it. I was too worried what people**  
**would think and - if any - who would be offended. After being reassured time and time again, I discovered that, if anything,**  
**this fic could provide some type of insight to others.**

**I definitely want to thank IAmToWait for helping me rework this chapter. It took us a few rounds, but  
without her, it wouldn't be as kickass as it is now!**

**I also want to thank the ladies in the WC's who helped me as I began writing this. I can't remember all of your pennames, but you know  
who you are! You are each precious gems in the fanfic world! **

**Oh, yeah, as you know, I don't own anything Twilight. It's all Mrs. Meyer's world, I just mess with it from  
time to time. I do however own the plot to this story. So, unless you're Jhrbrown, don't try to use it elsewhere, okay?  
Stealing is not nice! However, sharing is caring, so ask before you want to put it up somewhere!**

* * *

Chapter 1-Butt Swatter

_"Mom!"_

_"Yes, dear?" _

_"Make him stop! It's disgusting… eww, Seth, MOM!"_

_"Honey, it's fine, just ignore him, okay?"_

_"Fine."_

I was immediately brought back to the present day the moment I realized what was occurring. I looked around as far too many people stared, their eyes dancing between me and my brother while shaking their heads.

Grabbing my brother's hand, I attempted to lead him away from the mess he had created. I could have handled him dropping a jelly jar and breaking it into a billion little shards, but what he had done was a wild mix between hilarity and insanity.

"Seth," I hissed, yanking on his sleeve. "Come on, let's go."

"But I don't wanna go-" I jerked harder before he could finish.

"As of now, I don't really ca-"

This time I was the one being interrupted.

"Hey, it's okay, really. I mean, no harm, no foul, right?" the victim to my brother's bizarre crime quipped.

I forced a smile and attempted to show something close to ease, but I knew it was not showing anywhere on my face.

"Seth," I whispered, still staring the man in the eyes. "Apologize."

Seth looked at me and raised an eyebrow, then plastered a why-don't-you-try-and-make-me look on his face.

That was easier said than done with him.

"_Seth_," I sort of sang through clenched teeth.

He crossed his arms, nearly causing me to fall, as he wrenched his sleeve from my death grip. "Fine." He then looked at the man he'd accosted and deliberately began his apology overtly loudly. "Dear sir, I am sorry that I hit your butt. My sister, Isabella, but you can call her Bella, or Bell, or even Bells, said that I needed to whip someone's butt."

My mouth fell, and I could feel the blush of embarrassment rising up my neck and covering my face. I gaped at the man, then back at my brother. Hard as he tried, I could see the man almost cracking a smile and knew he was attempting to control the muscles in his mouth from turning upward.

"I'm sorry," I began, trying to quickly piece together an explanation. "I didn't tell him to 'whip' some random person's behind, now did I, Seth?" I looked over at my brother who had already moved on from the conversation and found some other distraction.

I gently backhanded his shoulder which immediately broke him from his silent reverie. "Seth?"

"What?" he moaned, rubbing the place where I hit.

"Go to the car. Do you remember where we parked?"

He simply nodded, then turned and walked away.

After watching him make a detour to his favorite cashier then gloomily walk to the car, I turned back to the man.

"Sir-"

"Edward," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Well, er, Edward, I really and truly want to apologize for my brother's inappropriate actions. There is no excuse for him really, but I know that he must have taken what I said out of context." I paused to catch my breath.

"What exactly _did_ you tell him?" he probed. I felt put off momentarily by his question, but quickly realized that it had, in fact, been his ass my brother had hit.

Hard.

"Well, umm… uh, he had some trouble in school today and I just simply told him he needed to whip someone's butt. Thing is, I didn't think he would just pick some random person's ass, er, I mean butt. I was hoping he'd… well, never mind, I shouldn't have told him that to begin with."

"I'm just really sorry, okay, and if there's anything I can do-" He held his hand up to stop me.

"It's fine, I'm not really worried. If I may, what's wrong with him?"

I quickly diverted my eyes to the faux marble floor, then to the freezer standing next to us. I was not used to discussing this openly with random strangers. Virtually everyone in Forks knew about my brother and his "issues," but no one ever bothered to ask about him.

"You don't have to say anything, really. I was just curious about the now infamous 'butt-swatter,'" he laughed.

I slowly turned my head, kind of like you'd see in one of those horror movies where the lady has gone psycho and is about to fling an axe across the room, then glared at him.

"Don't make fun of him, okay. Just don't." I felt my jaw as it tightened. Still feeling the stares from the onlookers, I deduced it would be ridiculous on my part to create even more of a scene for them to gossip about.

Edward shook his head. "Honestly, I'm not. I find what he did quite funny. Hilarious even."

Somehow, I believed such simple words. "He has Cerebral Palsy. Well, that mixed with a few other things."

"Wow," he stared back in amazement.

"Yeah. Well, hey, he's been sitting in the car for some time, so I better head out there. It was nice to meet you, _Edward_."

"You too."

After paying for what little amount of groceries we had gathered before the "incident" and making it to the car, I found Seth sitting in the front seat, bored to tears.

He looked at me, his eyes the same black coffee color as mine, and huffed. "It's really about time, Bella, you know that, right?"

I knew he was joking. His mood had already shifted from the irritated, ready-to-go-home, tired mood of earlier and had gone into the happy- go-lucky, normal Seth I was used to.

That was one of the perks about Seth. He couldn't stay anything but happy for too long. It was like he just didn't have the ability to be mad, angry, frustrated, or any other negative thing for more than ten or so minutes.

"Well, since you want to be like that, I think I forgot something. I'll be right back." I acted as if I were going to shut the car door.

"NO!" he yelled then began laughing. "I want a donut. Come on, Bella, let's go get one."

Quirking my eyebrow at him, I simply shook my head. There was "no" saying no to him. Not when he was so funny and cute about nearly everything he asked… or demanded.

"You know, if I didn't know better I'd think you were the boss, Seth," I piped up after I'd pulled out onto the road, of course, headed to the bakery.

"Nope. I can't be, dummy, you're the oldest. I'd have to be your age to be the boss and I'm only fifteen."

"Are you trying to say I'm _old_?" I giggled as he began to laugh, his hands patting away at his chin, a habit everyone had tried so hard to break him of.

"No… you're just older than me. Twenty-three, right? Yeah, twenty-three."

I nodded.

Moments later we were pulling into the parking lot of Seth's favorite bakery. Victoria, the owner, knew and loved Seth and would laugh at his incessant talking and off-the-wall jokes.

She understood Seth because she and James, her husband, had a son with similar problems. Unfortunately, he passed when he and Seth were nine.

It was a terrible accident that happened not long after _Sugar High_ was opened. James thought he's surprise her by showing up with Laurent, but on his way, some asshole who felt that drinking at twelve noon was a good idea, t-boned them on the passenger side.

Laurent died on impact.

A lot of people in Forks went berserk afterwards, even my father, who made sure the guy got locked up.

_Ironic how the one thing…_

I shook my head, removing the last thought and headed inside with Seth.

"Hello, Mr. Seth. What will it be today?" Victoria asked, her smile wide and bright, from behind the counter.

"Probably same as always," James put in as he rounded the corner.

I nodded in agreement.

Seth laughed, which made each of us laugh, and placed his order. "Chocolate covered donut with the blue and green sprinkles, please."

_Oh, now he has manners,_ I thought, silently chuckling at his ability to always surprise me.

"Anything to drink, man?" James patted him on the shoulder, making Seth's signature and nearly always present smile appear.

"Chocolate milk."

I grinned. His ability to be so naïve and simple reminded me of our father. Seth was as every bit of Charlie as I was and neither of us liked to admit it.

"And for you, Bella?" Victoria looked at me.

"Umm… I'll have a cinnamon twist with a French vanilla cappuccino."

I sat on the barstool next to Seth and watched both James and Victoria busy themselves with our small order. At times, I wanted to ask her how she survived those first few months. I even wanted to ask James, but I knew that that was something you shouldn't just ask people.

The bell above the door rang and I heard Seth snort as he tried extremely hard to hold back his laughter.

"What is it, Seth?" I asked, giggling from his snorting.

"It's that guy."

I rotated my upper body, turning to the right where Seth was pointing his thumb and I felt my eyes grow and my mouth drop.

_Edward_.

"Oh. My. God."

Neither of our laughter being well contained, we eventually gave into the hilariousness of it all and let it break free.

Other than us five, the place was empty, so Edward's eyes shot straight in our direction. My cackling stopped the moment I saw him get up and begin walking over to us.

Now that I was calmer and much less embarrassed, I could see how handsome Edward really was. His eyes were squinted but I could see their mossy green color. His hair reminded me of a penny, one that was a few years old but still had its shine.

Hearing Seth's giggle broke me from my reverie. I elbowed him and told him to be quiet.

"But I can't."

It was too late. Edward was now standing right behind Seth.

"Am I interrupting anything?" he asked.

That shut Seth up. Immediately.

We both shook our heads as he took a seat by my brother. His hair, perfectly tousled, was all I could see. I felt a pang of envy toward Seth since Edward had chosen him to sit next to and not me.

Victoria brought us our drinks and pastries and Edward ordered a simple black coffee and a banana nut muffin.

"Is it good?" I heard him whisper to Seth.

He took a sip of his chocolate milk and turned to Edward, "Yeah. Really good. I only get the one with the green and blue sprinkles because all the other colors taste funny, I think. You should get some chocolate milk. It's better than Bella's. She puts too much chocolate in hers. It hurts my teeth. You remember my sister, Bella, don't you?"

I continued to pretend that I didn't hear a word they had said until Seth began patting me on the top of my head.

"Bella? Bella? Hey, here's… What's your name?"

"Edward," we both said in unison.

"Oh," Seth carried on, not catching that I already knew Edward's name. "Here's Bella. She gets the same muffin as you sometimes. Sometimes though, she gets what she just ate. That cinnamon braid thingy. It's okay, but not great."

"I actually happen to like the cinnamon twists," Edward retorted, shrugging one shoulder and pursing his lips.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Seth?"

"I have to go pee. Can I?"

"Of course, I don't care. Go on."

Once Seth left, it was complete silence. That is, until Edward decided to open his glorious mouth.

"So I take it he likes chocolate milk?"

"Yes, he does." I nodded and smiled. "But he refuses to drink mine. It's 'too chocolatey.'"

"Yeah, and the sprinkles taste different?"

"It's a Seth thing. You'd never understand. Hell, at times, I don't understand."

He nodded a few too many times.

"Umm, well, _Bella_, I know this may seem odd or random but may I ask you a question?"

I nodded.

"Would you like to go out sometime? I mean, to make up for Seth spanking me and all. It could really be fun." His face was turning pink, so I knew this wasn't a normal thing for him.

I laughed lightly and tilted my head. "I'm sorry, but I can't. I have no one to watch Seth and I don't think I would be entirely comfortable going out with you after my brother's already made it past first base."

He looked at me and then smiled the most perfect crooked smile I had ever seen. "I'm glad we can laugh about that."

I stopped. "He's my brother… that is a right I've more than earned. Plus, I can see the comedy in this whole day, even though I'm still sorry about your bottom."

"Well, he can come too, if you'd like."

"I'm sorry, it's still a no."

Thankfully, Seth was walking over to us, which switched our conversation completely.

"Are we leaving, Bella?"

"You ready?"

He nodded.

"Go give Victoria and James a hug, okay?"

He bounded off in search of them as I grabbed our trash and threw it away. I picked up my purse and slid it over my shoulder when I saw him coming from the kitchen and headed toward the door.

Seth started laughing as he ran for the car. "I'm going to beat you, Bells," he squealed.

"Please think about it, Bella." I heard come from behind me.

Turning, I smiled and nodded. "Sure, yeah, okay."

Walking to my car, I knew as well as he did that I had just lied to him.

* * *

**Alright, peaches, let me know! **


	2. Grocery Guy

**BEFORE YOU READ: I went back and reworked Chapter 1 so if you read it when it was originally posted  
you'll need to go back and reread. I highly recommend doing that!**

**I want to thank IAmToWait for beta'ing this. She stared at this for so long, I highly believe that she**  
**has it memorized by heart. I am eternally grateful for the guidance and help in this chapter**.

**I owe her big time!**

**Oh, yeah, as you know, I don't own anything Twilight. It's all Mrs. Meyer's world, I just mess with it from  
time to time. I do however own the plot to this story. So, unless you're Jhrbrown, don't try to use it elsewhere, okay?  
Stealing is not nice! However, sharing is caring, so ask before you want to put it up somewhere!**

* * *

Chapter 2- Grocery Guy

"So you mean to tell me you turned him down?" Jake dropped his hands in his lap waiting for my answer.

I fixated my gaze elsewhere so I didn't have to look at him. This was ridiculous. Both he and Leah knew that I had responsibilities, but neither of them seemed to care.

"Bella," Leah muttered.

I kept my head where it was and gazed at her from under my lashes.

"I don't think that Jake's saying anything I don't agree with. _Everyone_ thinks you should go out more, you know, act more your age. Just because Seth was left under your care doesn't mean you have to give up your life. Your parents never would have wanted that."

I stood and moved to the mantle above the fireplace. Staring at the old pictures that littered the top, I felt my heart clench. They were right. My parents wouldn't have wanted me to be like this, but I didn't know any other way.

"Bell, just give it a shot. Seriously. I mean, I know you want the best for Seth but you're not failing him by dating. I swear." I noticed Jake had moved next to me.

"I'm not _that_ worried, Jake."

He cocked an eyebrow, "Really? You could have fooled us, love."

"What exactly does that mean?" I spat.

"Bella," Leah interrupted Jake. "Your guilt over your parents' death is more than obvious in how you're treating Seth."

With eyes like slits, I bore virtual holes into them. "This is complete and total bullshit, guys. I don't have guilt that I'm pushing on him, I'm just trying to learn how to raise him, and how to handle his… his disorder."

"Bells, you haven't let that boy breathe since you got here. It's goddamn ridiculous. Your mom used to let him come over and play the Xbox with the whole crew, and I don't think you've let him even look in that general direction," Jake piped up.

"You have balls, Jake, you really do. I'm doing the best I can with wh-"

"Don't feed me that line of bologna right now, Isabella Swan. You're not doing the best you can with what you have. You want to know why I say that?"

I tightened my jaw as tears threatened to fall. "Whatever, Jake, what-the-fuck-ever."

"Bella," he inched closer and began to whisper. "I say that because you have an awesome group of friends who love both you and Seth, and we'd do anything to help you. Have we not always been there?"

I didn't even want to think back to the times he was referring to. Now, I just considered those the "happier" times.

"Happy" was something that would be hard to find again. Loss and grief had taken that away from me.

"Shit, Bella," he pinched the bridge of his tawny nose. "We've all known Seth and you forever. We know what he's like and how to help handle him. Don't think you're the only one who lost them, and don't dare think you're alone in this, okay?"

I looked up at Leah who was nodding in agreement with Jake. He was right, I'd give him that, but I would die before I let him know.

I forced a smile, still gazing into Leah's cocoa eyes, "Can you watch Seth?"

She simply nodded.

Running up the stairs, I heard Jake groan. "Where's she going?"

"The same place she always goes when she needs reassurance," Leah replied.

I grabbed my Converse tennis shoes, slid one on and attempted the same with the other while walking. After having to grab onto the bed, wall, and doorframe, I finally managed to have them both on securely, and headed out the front door.

"Lock up if you leave, please," I yelled over my shoulder to Jake and Leah.

The drive was always the same. It hadn't changed at all since I was younger, and I bathed myself in the sense of familiarity. It was a reminder of days when I didn't have to think about anything but myself.

But now, I couldn't entertain such thoughts.

I parked my car in front of the multi-unit complex, and ambled up the sidewalk. Grabbing hold of the rod iron banister, I began my trek up the two flights of cement steps.

I nodded and spoke my hellos to those who caught my attention, but put no real enthusiasm into them. Pausing in front of the door I was soon to enter, I brushed my hair out of my face and pinched my cheeks, hoping to give them some life.

Gently knocking on the door, I held my breath as I waited for it to crack open and be greeted with a ginormous smile on the other side.

The silver metal knob turned ever-so-slightly and I heard the sonic boom of a belly laugh on the other side. My thumping heart was immediately slowed to a normal rhythm as a wave of calm crashed over me.

The door jerked open and I saw the one person who had the ability to rid my day of any bad it may have found. I smiled brightly, and waved a too-thin hand at him.

"Well, look who it is."

I grinned, but my smile barely reached my eyes. "Hey, Em."

"Who the heck is that?" I heard a familiar, accented voice ask from within the apartment.

Emmett wrapped his long, muscular arm around my shoulders, and ushered me through the door. "Ah, it's just Bella, man."

I smiled and waved at our friend, Jasper, who was also Emmett's roommate since they graduated high school. They had both been your typical high school jocks, each one in love with football, both taking it to the extreme. That was how they met – football. Not to mention that Emmett's dating Jasper's sister, Rosalie, for years now.

After Em met her, they were like the three musketeers and I, well, consider me their tagalong.

Jasper stood, traipsed over to me and slung his lanky arms around my neck. "How are ya, Bell?"

Jasper and Emmett were complete opposites of one another. Emmett was tall, a bit pale, with dark hair and light blue eyes. Being naturally built like a wrestler, he was obsessed with how "ripped" he could get. Jasper, on the other hand, was born and raised in Texas until he was thirteen, leaving his skin tanned, a stark contrast to the rest of Fork's population. His hair, a sandy blonde, was curly, and his blue eyes made him look like your typical surfer boy.

Rosalie had features similar to her brother, and she was just as tall. That's why Emmett appreciated having her as "his." She was as beautiful as any model and everyone – including her – knew it.

"I'm good, Jazz, thanks. How's he treating you?" I tilted my head toward Emmett, who was now standing in front of the refrigerator.

"He's Em," he scoffed.

"I can still hear you guys." He turned around, a piece of bologna hanging out of his mouth, and both hands grasped a bottle of beer, while a can of Coke sat nestled between his forearm and chest.

"That's gross, Em. Really," I said, pointing at the dangling bologna.

He simply shrugged, while Jasper and I bent over laughing.

That was how Emmett could brighten any darkened day – by just being himself.

After we each settled down on the old, beaten up and falling apart sofa, Emmett turned to me, "So what do ya need, girlie?" A big, fake grin was plastered on his face.

Such looks unnerved me when it came to Emmett because it only ever meant one thing. That all-knowing grin said, 'I-already-know-whatever-it-is-you-want-to-say-so-just-go-ahead-and-say-it-now.'

Yes, that was exactly what it meant.

I turned to Jasper only to notice that he was leaning his elbows on his knees, his head facing the wall, and was strangling back his own laughter.

I jumped up. "This isn't fair, you guys! You already know, don't you, Em?"

He waggled his eyebrows and smiled.

"Jasper?" Turning, I could see it on his face as well.

He shrugged, which in turn, made me growl and throw the innocent pillow I had been holding at him.

"You know what? Forget it!" I marched to the door, only to be picked up and slung over Emmett's too-big shoulder. "Put me down, asshole! I mean it, Emmett. If you so much as tr-"

"Would you just shut _up_?" he bellowed. He tossed me to my seat, forcing the air out of my lungs, and sat beside me. "Honestly, Bell, why do you have to be like that?"

I crossed my arms and turned my head to stare at the wall.

"Bella, do you know how old you look right now?" Jasper probed, poking my side as he leaned over from behind the couch.

I scrunched my nose and stuck out my tongue.

"Oh, and that helps a whole hell of a lot more, right?"

Scrunching my eyes, I replied with as much animosity as I could muster. "Well, I wouldn't have to act this way if I didn't have blabbering fools as friends."

"That hurts, Bella. Really," Emmett said, scooting closer to me on the couch.

Standing, I turned to face him and glared.

"Okay, Bella. Sorry, but Jake's right. Hell, count that as the one and only time I'll admit to that, but he is. You should go out with grocery guy and have fun," Jasper said as he squatted on an ottoman.

"Dude's right, Bells. I mean, shit, don't you think your parents had help with Seth?"

"No! They did everything on their own. _Everything_!"

"Bella, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no they didn't."

I stared at Emmett. The audacity of his statement had me wishing that my look would have killed him.

Jasper slapped Em on the back of his head and came over to kneel in front of me. "What he means, Bell," he glanced over at Emmett, chastising him with his eyes. "What he meant is that your parents always had people around. Me, Rose, Em, and the crew from the rez, we were an outlet for them. Just like you were. Get it?"

No, honestly, I didn't "get it." I hadn't gotten it since the day I was forced to say goodbye to my parents… for good. Nothing made sense anymore.

I knew my parents tried to socialize Seth, you know, for his own good, but to use everyone as a way to get a break from constantly having to take care of him? No way. I had never seen it like that.

Never.

"No, Jazz… no, you're wrong. Both of you…" I let my voice trail off as I felt the tears slide down my cheeks.

"Bell?" I could feel Emmett as he scooted even closer, and wrapped his arms around me, Jasper hugging my waist tightly.

My entire body was bombarded with emotions that I had pushed to the side. The absence of my feelings was purely a way to assist with Seth and be strong for him; I couldn't have him think it wasn't okay.

"Have you faced it?" a whispering voice questioned.

_No, I haven't faced it. Who can face losing their parents? Who can understand that the only people who will love you no matter what are no longer here? Who can do that?_

Looking through blurry vision, I searched for something to concentrate on, anything but what had been asked.

Warm hands found their place on either side of my face, and I tried to jerk backwards, but with no success. "Listen to me," Jasper's sweet voice whispered. "Cry. Cry now, cry later, or whenever, but you _need_ to cry, babe. It's the only thing that will help you."

"So, what does he look like?" Emmett asked.

"Why, Em? Are you looking for a piece of hot man-cake?" I responded, a questioning look still of my face.

Jasper and I laughed, a better feeling than that of earlier,

"Hell yeah, I mean, I need something to keep Rosie on her toes." He winked at Jasper, who play gagged and the room filled with more laughter.

"Well, he fits what I look for physically. Tall, beautiful smile, pretty – no, gorgeous – eyes, and a jaw line to murder for."

Both of my boys wrinkled their noses, then looked at me with an expectant hope.

"Is he someone you can _see_ yourself dating?"

"Yes, Jasper. He's nice and seemed very respectful and polite. Although, I fear I might be a bit too much for him."

"Why?" they asked in unison.

"Well… umm… uh, when he called Seth the "butt swatter,"' I smiled and tried to manage an innocent look.

"Ha. Bella, you told his ass off didn't you? You pulled the infamous 'big sister defense system' shit, right?" Jasper laughed. "You probably made that poor sap shit hisself."

"_Himself,_" Emmett corrected.

"What?"

I looked at Jasper and giggled. I loved his accent and sometimes mispronounced words, but it bugged the hell out of Emmett. Apparently, over time, he'd developed a grudge against improper English.

"You said 'hisself' and it's actually 'himself'," I replied, trying to make Jazz understand Emmett's ridiculous outburst.

"So what?" he shrugged. "Next time Em wants a fucking brew, I'll tell him to go get it _hisself_."

"Anyways, no."

"No?" they said together.

"Yes. No. No I didn't go off on him. I simply glared."

"You glared?" Jasper had a look of confusion on his face.

"Yes, I glared. He didn't mean anything by it, and to be honest, Seth did just assault him. So… fair is fair."

"Bella's lost her touch, Em. I think I'm worried." Jasper leaned back, put his arm behind me, and smacked Emmett on the back of the head. "Why the hell are you slacking, dude?"

Rubbing his head, Emmett leaned forward and looked as Jazz. "What the fuck? What do you mean, dumbshit?"

"You're the one who's supposed to keep her all snarky and shit with your dumb ass. You're slacking."

They leapt over me, tangling me in the middle of their childish dispute, and all I could do was laugh.

Sliding out from a little hole between their bodies, I slipped into the kitchen and grabbed another soda. I wanted a beer. I really did, but since my parents' accident, I couldn't bring myself to even think of tasting alcohol.

"You guys want something?" I yelled over my shoulder.

No response.

"Guys!"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Would you like something?"

They looked at each other, then back to me as they shook their heads and stood.

Emmett's hand immediately began massaging his neck, and I knew they had other ideas.

"What are we doing?" I sighed, giving up any feeling to fight back.

"Let's go to dinner, Bell," Jasper said, his grin stretching from one ear to the other.

"Fine."

I got in my car and followed them to one of Seth's favorite restaurants, Little Push. It was a southern-style restaurant, serving everything from mac-n-cheese to smothered and covered country fried steak.

Getting out, I shook my head at how my friends had once again gone behind my back, as I noticed that Jacob and Leah were both in the parking lot with Seth in tow.

Most people had friends who were there for them, who helped them, and never once revealed their secrets to another.

Not mine.

They lived and breathed getting in touch with whoever would listen so they could plan an "intervention" if they felt I wasn't _feeling_ enough.

* * *

**Alright, loves, let me know and leave me loves! *muah***


	3. Truths

**Okay, here it is... Chapter 3. I know, I know, I kept you guys waiting for so long and for that  
I am so freaking sorry, but RL and Fandom life has been hell lately. **

**I recently lost my beta for RS and was on the search for someone who could kill my overuse of commas  
and whatnot and thankfully, my ficwife DaniaMCullen came to the rescue. She'll be dealing with  
this mess of a fic until it's finished or we divorce (whichever comes first) LMAO.**

**Okay, as you know I own nothing. I do, however, own the plot and ideas of this  
story so unless you want to be known as a theif, don't steal it! Although, sharing is caring so if you  
ask me to post it somewhere else, I MAY give permission and won't have to hunt you down.**

* * *

Chapter 3 - Truths

"Thank God," I sighed. "This is the last load of laundry."

Leah wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, both of us laughing. Fifteen loads of clothes later and we were exhausted, covered in lint, and smelled like a fruit basket.

"You know, Lee, I don't see how you did ALL of this before I came back." I waved my hand across the room to the nine baskets. "I… I would have died."

She shrugged. "I did it over a span of three days."

I cocked my eyebrow.

"Well, Jacob's, his dad's and mine one day. Then Quil's, Embry's the next day, then finally Jared's and Paul's – if they needed it."

"I would be telling them where the local laundromat is!"

"It's not easy to turn down those boys, Bells. You know that." She rolled her eyes and placed a stack of jeans in the basket closest to her.

"It is! All you have to do is ignore the eyes. Them and their damned puppy dog eyes," I chuckled.

Leah sighed. "Besides, Jake asks me to and-"

"And you just can't say no, right? It's love or whatever." I shook my head and thought back to when everyone thought he was my "love."

We tried, and he wasn't, simple as that. We both knew, then and now, that we're better off as friends. It suits us just fine. And, he fits Leah.

"Something like that." She grinned and her face was glowing. _Yeah, it's love._ "So, have you thought anymore about Grocery Guy?" Leah looked as though her mind were still on Jacob as her curiosity took over.

I refused to let anyone in on my growing intrigue of said guy. "Um... no, not entirely."

I mean, yes I had been snippy to him and showed little to no interest with our first meeting, but as time passed, my mind changed.

Slightly.

Truth be told, he had filled my mind more than I thought appropriate. I had responsibilities. Seth. I knew where I belonged and had no intentions of straying.

"Well, as I've said, it could be good for you, Bell. Think about it; getting out of the house and hanging out with him. You did say he was nice looking, right?"

"_Leah_!" I squirmed, her question catching me off guard. _Looks aren't everything. Right?_

"Oh hush it, Bella. We're both grown women and it was a simple question." Her eyes narrowed while a smirk played on her lips. That was her way of still interrogating me without actually asking.

Running my fingers through my hair I answered. "Yes. Yes, he's good looking. Too good looking to be honest."

"I find that impossible, B. No man is _ever _too good looking." She laughed as she folded a shirt. "By the way, how's Seth?"

"He's Seth, you know? Asks too many questions - most of which I've no answer. He's been begging for me to take him out to Sam's, but I just don't know." I chewed on my lip, rubbing it lightly with my finger. "I just think he should spend some time here at the house, you know?"

"Bella," she said, laying the shirt in her lap. "It will do him some good to go hang out with the guys. Here, he's reminded of what he doesn't have, just like you.

"The both of you should shake things up in your lives; live a little, laugh too hard, be free. Just live."

I nodded. To some degree - and I wouldn't dare tell her this - she was right. I kept Seth and myself held up in this house of memories. There was really nothing holding us here – well, except for any and everything that pertained to our childhoods.

_How hard would that be to let go?_

I felt a tear begin to form and pinched my lips together, burying the sob where it lay. Getting up, I carried a stack of folded laundry with me. "I'll be back, Lee."

"Shit, Bell, don't be upset. Please."

I shook my head. "I'm not. I... I'm just putting these up."

Eyeing me suspiciously, she crossed her legs. "Mmhmm."

I did need to get out. Walking the halls was even more proof to that. Dozens of pictures littered the walls: my high school graduation, Seth's sixth grade class picture, baby photos. I refused to look at them, each one holding a different version of "happy."

I placed Seth's clothes in his room, on the lower left corner of his mattress – just like he preferred. I smiled, something I could do easily when it came to him. Shutting his door, I looked down the hall. _Not yet._

"Bella?" My head whipped around and Leah was standing at the top of the stairs, staring. "Um… are you okay?"

I nodded.

"Let's go somewhere tonight. Sound good?"

Shrugging, I walked into my room and threw my clothes in the top drawer. I had no real order when it came to my dresser. It was a more "if it fits, then it stays" kind of thing. It worked very nicely, so I never attempted to change it.

Leah was leaning in the doorway, "how about Breaking Twilight? Or Dawning Eclipse?"

"Can we just go to Sam's?" I didn't feel like having to dress up to the hilt in order to be admitted. I knew Sam wouldn't dare turn me away.

"That'll do. Get dressed. I'll tell Jake to bring Seth home later and watch him. Is that okay?"

"I don't know, Leah. I don't want you guys to think that I'm us-"

She held up her hand, shaking her head. "Don't even, Isabella Marie Swan. You know better. Now get dressed!"

I nodded and as she turned around, I saluted her with my middle finger. _Like old times_.

Pulling out a pair of faded jeans, a black tank top and my flip-flops, I quickly dressed. I pulled my hair into a low ponytail and lined my lower lids with a purple liner.

"Come on, Bells," Leah hollered from downstairs.

"Well if it ain't my favorite girl!" I blushed at Sam's exclamation as I entered. The rest of the patrons turned to see who he was talking to and I saw a few familiar faces. Waving, I followed Leah to a booth and sat down.

"Been a while, huh?" I looked at her, her eyes scanning the room.

"Yeah, just a little." I hadn't been at Sam's since I was eighteen. _Wow._ I closed my eyes and tried to push the newly formed tears back into their hiding place. _My last night in Forks…_

Sam walked over to the table wearing his signature smile. "So what can I get you girls?"

"Um," I pushed my hair behind my ear. "A soda, please."

"You know what I like, man, so just bring it, okay?" Sam raised his arm, acting like he was going to punch Leah, but she cocked her eyebrow and mouthed "Jake" and he was off.

Sam was like Jacob. In fact, he was like all of the rez boys: tall, dark and, of course, handsome. Their eyes were as big as walnuts and browner than coffee. All of the girls fawned over them and honestly, I could see why.

He walked back over and sat the drinks down. "Drink up, ladies. And you, Miss Bella, better order something harder than a soda next round."

"Uh, no thanks." I grimaced but he didn't notice. Leah, on the other hand, did.

"Really, Sam?" Her tan cheeks were turning pink. She was pissed.

His normally large eyes grew bigger. Leah was a fighter and everyone within a fifty mile radius knew it. "What?"

"She doesn't drink, asshole!"

"What?"

I shook my head, "Leah it's okay. Calm the hell down, please."

Her head whipped around, facing me. "No. Hell no. People," she looked at Sam. "Shouldn't be so goddamn inconsiderate."

Sam's face showed understanding as he began to realize what Leah was hinting at. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I… I wasn't thinking. I-"

He didn't get to finish. Leah interrupted, "fucking idiot, no you weren't thinking. How cou-"

"LEAH!" I screamed and it felt good. It felt good and freeing. "Sam," I looked at his now sad face. "It's okay. I promise. Don't worry, please." Glaring at Leah I grabbed my purse. "I'm ready to leave. NOW!"

I patted Sam on the shoulder and waved goodbye to the rest of the people in the bar, mentally sending apologies to each of them

Once we got to the car, I pulled the keys out of my pocket but stopped short. "You know you can't always protect me, right?" I was holding a key ring, twisting it around and around my finger.

"What?"

I threw my hands in the air before slapping them against my thighs. "Everyone's walking on eggshells for me. 'Poor Bella,' 'Sad little Bells,' well you know what? STOP!"

Leah stumbled back but I knew it wasn't the liquor making her do so. "Bella?"

"No, Leah, I'm done. Okay? I'm the one who should be feeling sorry for myself, not the other way around. I shouldn't be worried about what people are saying about me. You guys," I pointed at her. "Are be begging me out of the darkness, and that's all I need. To hell with what people say. They're going to talk whether I'm around or not. I have to get used to it. _You_ have to get used to it."

Her head tilted and her eyebrow lifted.

"Wanna know why I haven't 'broken down?' _Because I can't!_." Tears formed and I didn't care. I wanted to cry. I wanted to miss my parents. I wanted that more than anything, but I couldn't.

She walked over to me, wrapping her arms around me, her head resting on mine. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I-I didn't know. I mean, I thought… I thought we were doing what was right."

Clutching to her shirt, I said something I hadn't said yet, "You are. You guys really are, but I miss them, Leah. I miss them so much. I miss them, Lee. I do and I'm so scared." The sobs took over and I knew that what I had just said was the reason to everything.

I. Was. Scared.

* * *

**Soooo, Bella admitted it: She's scared. Hell, I would be too if I were in her shoes. **

**AND... I know Eddie hasn't really been around but he will be... just give him/me time, okay?**

**A/N: Chapter 4 will be out quicker than this one, so keep your eyes peeled.**

**LEAVE LOVE!**


	4. Killbobs and Noodles

***whispers from hiding spot* I know I promised a more steady updating schedule but RL is  
almost killing me. I am sorry! **

**DaniaMCullen is my crazy-ass beta whom I love, adore and worship. She helps make this  
whole process a little easier... Sometimes. *laughs***

**Okay, as you know I own nothing. I do, however, own the plot and ideas of this  
story so unless you want to be known as a theif, don't steal it! Although, sharing is caring so if you  
ask me to post it somewhere else, I MAY give permission and won't have to hunt you down.**

* * *

Chapter 4- Killbob's and Noodles

"Um, hello?" I said, groggy, still worn out from the night before.

"Hi, this is Alice with Dr. Siobhan Casey's office, is Miss Swan there?"

"Yeah, um... this is her."

"I was just calling to remind you that Seth has an appointment today at two-fifteen." Why the heck did she have to sound so chipper at… I rolled over to view the clock, eight-nineteen in the morning?

"Okay, thanks."

"Alright. Have a good day, Miss Swan."

Click.

After tossing the phone toward the foot of the bed, I threw my arm over my face, and nested it in the crook of my elbow. I simply needed another hour or so and I'd be fine.

_Tap._

My eyelids flew open.

_Tap._

I threw my arm down and glared at the door. _Tap one more ti-_

Tap tap tap.

I had two choices; ignore the incessant tapping and hopefully get my z's in or answer it and risk being up all day.

"Bella?" A whisper drifted up from under the crack in the door. I was screwed. If he had only continued to tap, I _would_ have ignored him because I _really_ wanted more sleep.

Would have.

Huffing, I got up and stomped my feet on the floor with each step. I jerked open the door and there he was, in his too-short, faded beyond recognition of what was once skateboards, pajama pants. One sock was pulled over the pant leg and hiked up to his knee while the other was pushed so far down, it was ready to slide off. His shirt was a light blue crew neck with bleach spot splattered randomly over it. _Dad and his inability to wash clothes._ I chuckled at the sight.

"Mornin', Bella." He smiled his toothy grin and waved.

"Mmhmm."

"Well aren't you miss queen of cranky wake-up people?"

"Bite me, Seth," I responded, quirking a brow.

He laid his hand on his little pudge and rubbed a circle. "I'm hungry, but I bet five dollars you taste gross. Probably like that lamb killbob mom made."

"It's _kebab_, Seth." I tried to move past the 'mom' part of the subject.

"Well I don't care WHAT it is called, it was disgusting and it almost _killed_ me to eat it, Bella! Mom wasn't a good cook, did you know that?" His face scrunched just enough to make his wrinkle. He was talking about mom and it had no effect on him. _How?_

"Yeah, I know," I chuckled as a tear formed in my left eye. "Sooo, I'm taking it you're hungry?" I changed the subject quickly so I wouldn't succumb to the emotional hurricane inside of me. At least in front of him.

"Yeah." His stomach growled and we both laughed. The air thinned a bit and I could actually breathe.

We walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. I focused my eyes on the worn brown carpet to avoid the pictures on the wall. _It has to get better... has to._

Seth sat down at the table while I tossed a few breakfast ideas around in my head. Breakfast pizza? No. Egg frittata? Eh. "Seth, what do you want?"

Like usual, his hands were lightly patting away on his chin, his eyes revealing he was far from the table; settled somewhere nice and comfortable in his own little world.

"SETH!" I screamed, which in turn, made him jump.

He squinted his eyes and pursed his lips.

His mad face.

"What?" he answered, attempting to lace his tone with venom and anger.

"What. Do you. Want?" I tried to contain my laughter as his expression changed.

"Oodles and noodles." Closing his eyes, he bobbed his head and continued on with his previous chin patting.

I curled my lip Elvis style, "what?"

"Ooooodles andddd noooooodles."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO!"

"Why?" The cat and mouse thing was normally funny, but I had no plans on budging this time.

"Because, Seth, that's not a breakfast food. That's lunch. So no."

"Dad would," was his reply.

_Dad would..._

Such a simple answer. So very, very, _very _simple. I turned, facing the window, and growled as two tears slid beneath my clenched eyes. _Dad would._

"Okay," I whispered. Grabbing the damned pack of Ramen noodles from the cabinet, I lifted a small pot from the hanger. I hit the pack with the ball of my hand once. I felt the tension and pressure fizzle away some. Twice. A little better. Three, four, five, ten, twelve, fif-

"Bella?"

My eyes opened - I didn't even know they were closed - and I sighed. My hair was no longer in the ponytail, but now a stringy mess, parts sticking to my face which had little beads of sweat. He was standing beside me, his head tilted to the left as his face showed both concern and fear. Swallowing I answered. "Y-yeah?"

"Um... it, it's okay. I don't want the noodles anymore." He lowered his head and began to walk off.

Tears poured from my eyes like a typical rainstorm in Forks. "No, Seth. No, you can have them."

He shook his head. "No, I'm not hungry now." He wiped his nose on his sleeve and I knew that if he could, he would cry. "I don't want to make you madder."

With the floodgates already opened, I grabbed his shoulders and lowered my face the two inches that separated us in height. "Seth," I shook my head. "I'm not mad, I promise. I'm... I'm just sad, okay?"

"Because mom and dad?" He knew, but I guess didn't feel it the way I did.

"Yes, because mom and dad." I chewed on my lip and could faintly taste blood.

"Because they died, huh?"

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah," I choked on the word. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry, Bella." His face was so innocent, his eyes so clear as he tried to understand.

"I know, me too." I hugged him close and felt his body go rigid. He didn't know what to do. "It's okay, Seth, you're allowed to hug me, okay?"

And he did. He wrapped his thin arms around my back as he hugged me tighter than I expected him capable. And I cried harder.

I sniffled and chuckled. "Now let's get you those stupid noodles."

The parking lot to Doctor Casey's office was nearly empty when we pulled up. There was maybe three cars, two of which I assumed belonged to that Alice chick and Doctor Casey, so I was a little excited about not having to wait. Seth was shifting uncomfortably in the seat and with each new movement I could hear his leg pull from the leather.

"You okay over there?" I asked as I swatted at his shoulder.

"I don't really like her, you know?"

"Who? Doctor Casey?"

"Yeah, _her_."

"Why?" I asked, truly puzzled. Mom and dad had always taken Seth to her as long as I could remember. I never went, of course, but I'd never heard badly about her.

"'Cause, she always tries to tell me I'm not wrong, I'm 'special,'" he spat. "I don't like being called special. I'm weird and I like being weird."

"Have you told her that?"

"Yeah, but her, mom and dad all say that I am special. I was made different so that makes me special. I like weird, though." His fingers tapped at his knees and I couldn't help but smile. I would prefer weird to special any day.

We walked inside and I was immediately bombarded with a miniature Forks. Well, it was the same color as Forks.

Green.

Light green walls with even lighter green carpeting. The chairs were mint green suede with brass furniture tacks lining the seams and in the center of the room hung a silver miniature chandelier with multiple strands of lime green beads dangling from it.

I looked at Seth and smirked. He snorted and nodded. He knew.

"Go sit down and I'll sign you in, okay?"

He didn't respond. Instead, he simply walked around, touched each chair, then turned around and sat in the third one from the beginning. Shaking my head, I made my way to the window. The closer I got the more little black spikes I could see. Two steps away, a head popped up.

"Hi there," a thin, _very_ pale arm jutted through the window. "I'm Alice. I called you earlier."

_How could I forget that wonderful wake-up call?_

"Yeah." I smiled and shook her hand in return. I signed Seth in and took a seat beside him. Alice with her funky black spikes and hot pink lips continued looking in our direction. I smiled the first few times I noticed, but eventually began to ignore that eerie feeling you get when people stare.

"Mr. Seth Swan," the little cheery voice rang out.

We both stood and I followed him to the back. After passing through the door, you felt as though you were in a "regular" doctor's office. The hall was bright white and in the space between each door hung a different award, all bearing the name Siobhan Casey. We stopped at the second door as Alice knocked twice.

"Come in," a muffled voice answered.

Alice opened the door, making herself flush with it, and we passed by, entering the room.

A healthier looking woman stood. She was wearing a black suit with a wide lime green belt fastened under her chest. Sticking out her arm, she nodded to Seth and introduced herself. "Hello there, I'm Doctor Casey, but you can call me Siobhan. You must be Isabella, only according to Seth, you loathe such a name and prefer Bella, correct?" _What else does he tell her?_

"Um," I nodded nervously. "Yeah, it's Bella. Nice to meet you, uh... Siobhan."

"Have a seat, Bella. Seth."

We both obeyed and sat in the two leather chairs diagonal to her.

"Well first, I'm going to go over Seth's health report I received from Doctor Dwyer. Is that okay, Seth?" She looked at him and waited for his approval. His head was rolling side to side - another "Seth thing" - so I elbowed him.

"Huh?"

"Can we do that first?"

He shrugged his shoulders and carried on.

"Well I need you to listen to me, Seth, okay?"

He stopped and nodded. "Fine."

"Doctor Dwyer says you're doing very well with your schooling, is that true?"

"I guess. I'm making all A's."

"That's wonderful, Seth. And he says you're still eating well. You've even gained a few pounds. I'm proud of that, dear."

"I'm getting fat," Seth retorted with a smile on his face.

"No you're not. You're getting to where you should be, Seth. You're not fat at all."

"Look at Bells, she's not fat. I-I am fat." He burst out laughing and I nearly came undone. Seth was hilarious and I didn't understand how she sat there in her pretty leather chair and didn't laugh either.

She looked over at me, almost as if I should do something, but I couldn't. Seth was being himself and I wasn't going to stop it. He needed a laugh. _I_ needed to laugh.

Clearing her throat, she began to rattle off things that Seth's health care doctor had said, many of which I had no clue about. He'd nod and laugh and agree with nearly everything she said so I sat silent.

"Okay now, Seth, let's just you and I talk." She looked over to me. Smiling, I stood. "It'll be about twenty or so minutes, Bella. You can leave if you have to or you're more than welcome to sit in the lobby. Be careful, though, Alice will talk your poor head off."

"I'll wait." I turned to walk out the door but was stopped.

"Oh and, Bella?"

"Mmhmm?"

"I'll want to talk with you for a bit too, is that fine?"

* * *

***gasps* Oh dear... What do you think she's going to discuss? **

**By the way, it took me forever - or what felt like it - to settle on a last name for Doctor  
Siobhan Casey. I chose 'Casey' because of its meaning and it's an Irish  
derived name. Also, it kind of reminded me of her!  
(Casey=Vigilant in war, watchful)**

**LEAVE LOVE!**


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